Jay-Z is undoubtedly the greatest emcee of all-time. Argue with ya muva.
But, he is also a motivational speaker, at least to me, anyway. If tall, Trump-supportin’ Tony Robbins’ ass can have that title, then I think Shawn Corey Carter deserves the same acclaim. Who else could get Black men over 40 to STILL wear button-ups and denim jeans to the club like we did when he dropped “Change Clothes,” and simultaneously get us all to cop Motorola pagers (“I Just Wanna Love U”) back in the day?
But seriously, Jay-Z’s music has helped and guided me through some real situations through his music — suicidal ideations (“Regrets”), bossin’ up (the entire American Gangster album), and even falling in love (“Excuse Me Miss”). Imagine a world in which you could have Jay-Z — bucket hat low, Ace of Spades in one hand, keys to a Phantom in the other, cigar in his mouth — planted on your shoulder with the answers to all of your larger-than-life problems?
You’re in luck! While we can’t physically get Jay-Z to appear on your shoulder magically — that would be weird as f*ck considering he’s like 6’2 or whatever — we can use something just as helpful, his blueprint, if you will: Jay-Z lyrics.
Welcome to WWHD or what we’re calling here at Medium, “What Would Hov Do?”, a weekly column by yours truly where you, the avid Medium reader, send me questions about absolutely anything. Then, I serve as an empathetic listener, vulnerability checker, and bullshit wrangler. But all my answers will be guided by Jay-Z’s lyrics. Think of Hov bars as the foundation to help you get the clarity you need about life, love, politics and everything in between. I’m just the messenger here.
Having trouble as a new father? I’ve been there, plus Jay-Z’s probably got a bar for that. Just cheated on your fiancé? That, too. Contemplating self-harm? Tell me about it — Jay-Z and I got you covered.
So, here’s where you come in. Below you’ll see a hyperlink that will send you to a concise but very charming Google doc where you’ll drop me a few sentences describing your issue. Then, I’ll get to work.
You get to keep it anonymous, too. The last thing I need is somebody’s ex-flame-turned-grits-thrower following me on my daily coffee run. I’ll answer one question a week, so make yours a good one and keep ’em coming!
Lemme go dust my shoulders off.
P.S.- For the newbies out there, feel free to get familiar with some of my previous Medium work here. And here. Oh, and here too. Be sure to follow the kid on Medium for all the latest and greatest updates!