photo by the ultra-awesome Gioncarlo Valentine

I Hate Lists, But I Made One Anyway: Things to Help Carry You Into a Prosperous 2018

This year felt like a shit-show masquerading as a NBC holiday special dedicated to hell on steroids. But, I mean, it was good, too. There were a lot of things to gleam from this very shocking and surprising year. No headlines, here — just some very learned truths, from yours truly:

• You owe it to yourself, before anyone else, to be as magical, as loving, as driven, as light-carrying, and as fantastic as you know you can, deserve to, shall and will be. The spaces you are choosing to inhabit are ownable.
• If you’re into something, do it; if you’re into someone, say it; if there is a dream on the inside of you, chase it. This is not the time for halfhearted attempts at being anything but the greatest, happiest version of yourself.
• If there was ever a time to seize the day, to seize the moment, to trust in your process, to invest the time and energy into heart things, into spirit things, the time is now. The time is today.
• Every single moment, is a teachable one — every encounter is an opportunity to offer grace, love, and mercy. don’t miss out — now now, not ever.
• Don’t be mad at so-so who is such and such age and doesn’t know “how to” anything: fish, drive, fight, cook, handle money, write, read, be an activist, love, listen, etc. Be mad if, you too know or knew of this person, and did nothing to attempt to teach them.
• It will get to the point that your need and want to be better, to love and grow and to nurture yourself, and the hearts and spirits that surround you, will be greater than your need to be right, to own things and to dominate spaces. Only then, and only then, will you be free.
• If you’re waiting on anyone to open any sort of hypothetical doors for you and your dreams, you’re already behind the curve. This is “I’ma make it happen, regardless” time.
• Some would rather lose money and friends and love, than be proven wrong; don’t be so hardened by conviction that you lose your soft, that you lose your light. The road to a higher self that also leads to a balancing out to a higher return on financial gain and “success,” that feels tangible not only to you, but to an outside spectator, will always be a marathon — having money does not always equate to having wealth; having love will always equate to having wealth.
• If you’re not putting in the energy required to both obtain and sustain something of sustenance, something holy, do not expect that thing to stay — you do not deserve the reciprocity.
• To the ones you love, admire, and adore: tell them you see them, tell them you hear them, tell them you understand them, tell them you respect them, tell them you acknowledge them, tell them you love them…tell them often, tell them always.
• Please don’t take rejection personally. Please don’t take hurt personally. Please don’t take not being seen, not being heard, or understood, personally. Don’t take a lack of reciprocity, personally. Folks are operating within their own value systems, from their own standards. It is daily, constant work, going through the trials and tribulations of our living — it is up to us, remembering that it is all ego, and that taking things personally creates barriers to growth, warmth, and love; it allows resentment to creep in. So, every day is an opportunity for me to look within and ask “where is the ego in this? How can I remove it?”
• I’m not gonna be right, or get “it” right everyday, but I will try — the trying implies intention, and intention invites love. And, even that can leave us falling short, and others losing faith in us because of it. But, living a full life, of love and promise? This is the work. So: burn sage, light a candle, write a poem, dance naked, sing loudly, hold hands in public, laugh harder, binge watch everything, read everything, love everything, eat the carbs, say “no” more, say “yes” too. Say bye to all of the old “you” that your new “you” will no longer need.